So... this is 2015

I was really not in the mood and inspired as well to compose my Year-end traditional blog post. I was asleep all day, 'coz I got home late last night. I was chatting with a friend of mine a while ago, and I told him I have this "blogging duties" coz it is the last day of the year but I don't think I could do this, coz I am not really happy, or I am forcing myself to be happy. But he then told me to try doing it ala-Armi. "Gamitin mo yung masasamang experiences para makasulat ng maganda"

So here it goes...

I was assessing how my 2015 had been for a few days now. I'm recalling the happiest moments I had. But it seems that nangingibabaw yung "bad days" that lasts the longest. That was May. It hurts a lot to think that should you blame yourself to a certain thing that was accused to you as a mistake, but it isn't? Or you don't know that it was really a mistake and you ask yourself if it really is? But I believed that God only knows. If it really was my fault, then I should received my kind of punishment. The fact is, I really don't know. *deep breaths* I don't know how long should I wait for this to resolve. I always pray and hope that this thing must come to an end. The truth is, I can't move on with my life (career) decisions until the resolutions to this would came up. I am not the kind of person that was not brave enough to face these things, and even if they left me alone with this, I am willing to fight for this, as needed.

And, back to happy thoughts. (but paint me a sad face). Do I really forced myself to be happy all along? I've been to different out of towns with my friends, unplanned trips, and I ask myself if these was an escape? But it may be an escape or not, I am grateful for these moments. These just means that I could still live normally life want me to be.

This year has been a down turner. I aimed for happiness, to lessen those emotes, to live positively. But I did try. I tried to post less about my feelings on social media (is it good or is it bad?), I find other outlets that would make me happy. I go out with friends that I know would listen to me attentively and would support me all through out these. They made me forget things for a while and for as long as it seems good. I found things that I know would made me happy. One, is super-fan-ning ALDUB. I know, they're so addictive. For six months, I admit I've been stalking them every single day. My social media is alive because of them. I worked hard with my blog post for the past few months because I was inspired by the way Maine blogs. Call me a die hard fan and whatever. All I know is they made me skip the part of bearing to deal with things. They were like daily dose of happiness. Call this an escape, but 'di ba nga, Happiness is a choice.

I just thought, maybe those depressing things that I said hindered me to continue life with complete happiness. I was not able to achieve my 2015 life goals successfully, though but I still had a career (that has been very difficult to me, pero tyinaga ko na lang) and I have my family and friend and my bestfriends, and the people who loved and cared for me all year long. Siguro this is a way God is telling me to be contented in a simple way. Hindi naging madali ang lahat for this year. But I still pray and hope, for my family, best friends, and loved-one's good health, for a good career again this year (#NDP2016), and for the resolutions that I have longing. I had unfinished business for this year. It might not be a new chapter tomorrow, and it might be a continuation of yesterday. Patuloy akong mag-aantay ng "Tamang Panahon" para sa lahat ng ito. (oh di ba? ang lakas maka-Aldub? Ganoin!)

Para sa lahat ng nagpasaya, hindi nang-iwan, hindi nakalimot, patuloy akong sinamahan sa laban ng buhay at sumuporta sa akin ngayong taon, Salamat!

Sorry (again) for a down turner post. But don't you worry y'all. I'm okay, REALLY!


Some of the highlights of my 2015:

Hot Air Balloon Fest and Dinosaur Park at Pampanga; February 2015

Ilocos; July 2015

Palawan with MPHCLIC Family; March 2015

NDP Seminars

My 25th birthday celebration: http://maisanctuary.blogspot.com/2015/11/post-birthday-greetings-from-me.html

Pano-Sas Nuptials (First ever bridesmaid duties); May 2015

Christmas Parties 2015

So... HI 2016!

This feels like frustrating. I ask myself, why do I feel different among others? Why does it feels "right", but the "right" feeling seems to feel wrongly? That seems so easy, and I felt positive about that, but I should not feel confident about it. Is this wrong? Or am I being influenced by those down turners?

Today, I convinced myself to be happy whatever fate brings to me. I've done my best better. I know, I must not ease. What if I failed? Would it be another "paasa" moment? Look at them, they were not happy about it. But it feels bright. I am afraid that this feeling would last but I may not get what I expected. I might be doomed.

So how do I get over with this? Should I stay optimistic of this thought? Should I consider failure? I know, and I tell myself (and them as well) that I should trust and have faith. This is my key. This would be my only hope; the one thing that tells me that I should hang on. The only answer I got is prayers. By this time, I believed in destiny. If this would be mine, then, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! But if it's not, then... I really don't know.

I also hang on to this thought: if I feel this optimism, then something good might happen for, maybe or so, another week or few days. But if this feeling continues, and it failed, then I must be damned.

Lord, alam mo na po yuuuuun!

"Could somebody tell me how to get things back they way they used to be

Oh God give me a reason

I'm down on bended knees"

Post Birthday Greetings from ME!

Hi people of all gender,

Due to disturbances in my connection, I was not able to give thanks to those who made an effort, even the tiniest bit, last week, on my 25th birthday. I was grateful, really. An ordinary day that I claimed turned out to be something special.

So let me tell you first how that day had gone:

November 17, 2015

super duper early morning (as in the wee of hours with no traffic noted): went to Regional Office to submit requirements for work with my co-workmate, Micai. And because we were super duper early, we grab a short breakfast at the nearest 7-11 and had that small chit-chat. Then we went straight to work.

The morning work: well, we were a bit lucky. No OPD check up for almost two weeks means no patient. So we (actually, they. haha) spend the whole day on paperworks and assisted few patients. While me, after I just let pass a few minutes of the morning, I started to re-write my last week's accomplishment reports. Para may silbi sa trabaho. Hindi porket birthday, eh, tatamad-tamad na. Hahahaahaha!

We received a group message from our point person, informing us about a meeting. So that means we need to report to the main RHU by 4pm. To make the long day short and 4pm came, we went there as per instructed.

But when we arrived, this happened. Haha!

lakas maka-Aldub ng cupcakes. Haha.

A birthday set-up: balloons, decorations, pictures and slideshow (face palms to that. Wacky pose pa more!), a super big card, and a candle lit in one of those designed cupcakes. It was a starstruck moment. Yes, I admit that I always wanted to be surprised on my every birthday and I was quite expecting for something that would "happen" (yung medyo kinutuban moment) but I had no idea on how they would execute it. I was totally speechless. Yung pictures talaga yun. Lalo na yung nakadikit sa wall (na hindi ko alam kung natanggal nyo na guys. Haha).

Big thanks and two thumbs up to my NDP-Angono buddies and colleagues. Number one on my Ultimate Silver Wishlist checked because of them.

Group pic! Please insert Des. :)

We were about to go home, but then my friend Cy showed up on RHU. (I was expecting she would be at my house waiting for me. hahhaah). She gave me this... orange envelope. I thought it was paperworks at first. But then, I asked her to accompany me for a short trip to church at Antipolo.

But before we headed to Antipolo, she asked me to open the envelope. Here comes the best part: the unboxing. hahahah.

Thank you to Cy and friends (literally, she wrote it on the card) for the Aldub magazine collection. Another check on the wishlist. Meg and Meg Man na lang talaga. Hihi virtual group hug for you guys!

After the short trip to church (to say a little  ) we met Marvin at Victory Park for a chat over coffee. Sometimes, it was still good to hear how you share the same talks just like before. We call it "bottomlines" hahahaha!

"Basta ako, pag nagka bf/gf na kayo, andito lang ako." Hahahah truly?

Hi, Starbucks! Thank you for my Rewards Card. Hope I could get to use it. But sayang yung cake! Haha

Went home and the day was not over. Mama had just brought me a Rocky Road Cake!

YUMMERS!

I would also like to thank each and everyone who took an effort to greet me thru Facebook. We all know it was the notification. Hahahah. Joke. Thanks for those few who posted a throwback picture of me, and to those who included, which I quote "Sana mahanap mo na yung FOREVER mo". Yung tataa guys?! May problema ba tayo kay FOREVER at wanted siya? Hahahhaah.

Thanks to those who also phone-called me. You know who you are. It was way special than just a greeting in a card, and facebook, as you say.

But before I ended the day, I opened the BIGGEST BIRTHDAY CARD I ever received. Thank you again NDP peeps! :) (and got to open other birthday cards but sadly, I was not able to take a snap!)

Thank you also to my ever loving and supportive family who greeted me in advance (dahil excited sila kahit wala naman akong handa. Chos. Di bale, may internet naman na tayo. Aldub mode on! )

And to You, Lord, I am truly grateful that I couldn't say it in words. Alam N'yo na po yuuuuun!


What I had received last week (gifts, literally) were, let's say, material things, but the effort in it really did mean a lot to me. It was more than a gift. It was part of blessings. I'll never forget this day. I may not shed a tear but it was better than regrets.

Thank you all!

Forever grateful at 25 (can I stay with it? Hahahah)

the Ultimate SILVER wishlist

It would be my 25th birthday few days from now. Yay and Naaaay. Hahahah. You know, #HelloQuarterLifeCrisis haha. I really don't have any idea how would I plan to celebrate it. Technically, none. But I promised myself to celebrate it happily, or at least be happy about it. Or else, I would regret it again, when I let myself cry to sleep (flashbacks on the 24th birthday).

Since I don't have any idea/s on how the incoming birthday would be, I would let it in the hands of fate. Lol. But for now (actually a few weeks ago. haha) I've prepared this silly wishlist, though I found it really impossible to achieve. Yes, really! Haha. But if ever someone, or my friends out there, would find this out and would make an effort to grant at least one of these, I'll be forever grateful. Thank you very much in advance! 

So here goes the silly impossible silver wishlist:

1. Surprise birthday party!

via GIPHY

I always wished to be surprised, like, every year! I love how this day turned happily in an unexpected way. Thus, alam mo talaga kung sino sa mga kaibigan mo ang ma-e-effort! Because they have the guts to prepare something special on your day.

    Or... BUFFET!

Photo courtesy of http://pinoypresyo.com/uploads/badce4f43f593ae28d21fe84a48d314220140528-saturdaylunchbuffet_04_5_4.jpg

Been there, done that, but only once and it never happened again. The past had brought me pains. hahaha. I really wanted to celebrate birthday buffets. The best part: the crew would give you a free birthday cake and would sing you a birthday song. Superb!

2. Nike Air Max Cork Edition

Hello shoes! I've been longing for you ever since I saw you from Yaya Dub's feet! Why do you have that cork designs and orange details, but you really do not fit on my tight budget?  

3. To complete stickers for the Starbucks Planner x Moleskine 2016

Okay, maybe I could do this with a little help from my good friends. Just sixteen Starbucks coffee drinks!

4. Metro Manila Film Festival Movies

Well, I think this would be easy, too. I only have to wait for Christmas to come, and to save up some bucks just to watch it on cinemas. But I would be much more glad if I would be able to watch at the premiere night of...

Yung totoo? Aldub pa more!

Hahaha! I guess I am a bit excited to see this movie. What more can I say? Aldub's DIE HARD FAN! lol!

   Or... A Second Chance Movie

Okay, this would be few days from now! Woooh!

I think these wishes are not all impossible. Haha. I just need some time, bucks and encouragement! Lol.

5. These Magazines

Because, I told so; I am really a Die Hard Fan! Hahahahha!

But I had read this. Thank you to someone who lend it to us. Could I have my own copy? Haha.

6. The Yeng Guitar

Photo: academyofrock.com

I know, it was really not necessity, but the white coverings, and that cute pussycat logo made me fancy about it! At may amplifier! Urgh! Again, I can't reach it's worth, but on a one-day sale at Garage 88, I maybe could. Lol. Grabe siya!

7. Casio Baby-G Watch

The white one, though. Haha. Why can't I push for it? I remember seeing this on the mall. Pero sabi ng tatay ko: "Pag napagsawaan mo na yan, wala na yan, sayang lang". Huhuhuhuh. Hindi naman eh!   

8. To experience riding a Hovertrax, and a Snapchat selfie with it

via GIPHY

Some people want to own a Hovertrax. But me, I just want to know how to make semplang moves with it! Joke. Haha! But really, a short ride, or knowing how that works, and a selfie from it. I'll be contented!

P.S: thank you,but don't give me a Hovertrax as a gift at all. Malubak po ang daan sa bulubundukin. Hindi ko siya magagamit sa pang-araw araw. Hahaha!

9. "The Arrow with a Heart Pierced Through him"

Ooooh. That book called Tadhana. Lol. It was only a storybook look-a-like, like, a book your mother read for you when you go to sleep when you were a child. But it;s not just "it". It's... something from a hugot. It's not your ordinary book. Costs 800 bucks. Can I have a signed one? Para naman masabi kong destiny. Hahahah!

Sabi ko dati nung pinanood ko TTCT, "I want the book. They should reproduce it." And they did!

10. Alden Richards' signed album

Photo: itunes.apple.com

So I could sing "Wish I May" and "God Gave me You" all over again, until I fall asleep, until Alden would hunt me in my dreams. I love it when someone whose soooo famous would leave something quite personal to you through those dedication messages and personal signatures to a souvenir, like when Bianca Gonzalez-Intal signed my very own "Paano ba 'to" book. So, how about Alden to sign my album? I would die if he would! Wooh! *Regine*

But these are all material thing. Iba pa din yung pinaka-wish ko sa birthday ko. Maybe these would between me and God knows them! (Alam mo na po yuuuuun, Lord   ). I have a lot for my wants, and I still know my priorities in life, even though I would be not able to have these. Maliliit na mga bagay lang ito kahit mahal  hahahha. Pero malaking bagay din naman sa'kin kung may mabuting loob na magbibigay sa akin ng mga ito. I know it would also too hard for anyone to give any of these to me. Libre lang mangarap! Libre lang din naman ang wish 'pag birthday, di ba?

So, reality snaps in!