Masakit para sa akin ang mag deactivate ng facebook. Kasi doon ako kinocontact ng mga friends, workmates ko sa tuwing may kailangan sila sa akin. Pero kasi, facebook account ko ang nagsisilbing medium of emotions ko, lalu na pag napaka-emo ko. Kaya di ko maiwasan yung mga tao pupunahin ako. And i really hate it! It's like "hey its my fb acct so why do you care? If you hate me posting then hide me on your newsfeed, or better unfriend me." (As if naman i have the conscience to tell that to anybody right?) Yes, im emotionally constipated (lols) and i can't help it sometimes. But think of it as me seeking attention when i need it because i feel so alone. Pero no one cared.
So I decided to deactivate my facebook account for a while for four reasons: 1. See if someone will eventually notice it. 2. See if that someone who noticed it would find me. 3. If he/she noticed and think of finding me will seek for another way of communicating me and will wonder and ask me why. 4. And if they ask me to bring back my facebook acct. To sum it up, i want them to miss me, like missing me for being gone forever.
As days passed, i was successful on my mission, but it does not make me convinced to bring back my acct.asap. Let them miss me more and let them seek for me for that long. Sorry for being such a bad girl because of these. Maybe it would be happier for you not seeing my emo posts. Atleast for now, i rest in peace for a while
Thinking of it as penetensya na din for reflecting upon myself and at least make repentance for my life mistake, it took more days for this deactivation to continue. Though, i did not make the right way of repentance, it was surreal for me that being so mean on deactivating was a big mistake. Thinking they are getting used on me being gone. I feel sorry for those things, for giving people cold treatment as giving revenge on giving it to me at the very first place. Me deactivating doesn't make any sense. I think it would never change a thing. People whom i annoy on facebook would still hate me, and that would never change if i decided to bring it back. I am still annoying btw. Sorry for doing nonsense things that i thought one of anybody would beg me.
I felt just sorry for myself. Nagtiis ako. Hindi ko nakamtan yung total peace of mind. Pero nakamtan ko yung goal na may naghanap sa akin. Na may nagungulit na mag facebook na ako. Pero siguro kaya hindi ko nagawang bumalik agad dahil sa iisang taong gusto kong gawin sa akin yun: oo hinanap nya ako, gumawa sya ng paraan (kahit papano, pero siguro nakulangan ako) pero anong ginawa ko, pinakita kong nagtatampo ako, na hindi man lang nya ako hinanap at nung time na hinanap nya ko, nag joke pa sya ng hindi maganda. Kaya lalo akong nainis, lalong nangibabaw yung poot na hindi naman itinuro ng Diyos na pairalin. Akala ko sa pagdedeactivate ko makakahanap ako ng peace, pero hindi. Ipinakita ko yung sama ng loob ko. Kasi punung puno ako nun. Hindi lang sa iisang tao, kundi sa mga taong hate ako, sa mga taong biglang nagtampo, at kahit sa mga taong wala namang ginawa. Damay damay.
Pero gusto ko ng tigilan. Ayoko na ng hate. Ayoko na ng poot. If you hate me, then so be it. I never pleased anybody coz i'm not perfect. I would never push anybody to love me. And if I return, thanks to those people who was there, waiting for me, who will tell me to not do it again, for they need me more to see what's on me and what's on my mind.
When i get back, i wish they feel that i was found again. They missed me more, ipamukha nila sa akin that there's more i missed, and let me feel important to have me back on facebook.
Thanks for missing me guys. Babalik na naman ang emotionally constipated friend niyo sa facebook. Sana napagttyagaan nyo pa ako. Di katulad nung mga naiinis sa post ko.
If you don't like me, hide me. If you hate me more, feel free to unfriend me.
Goodbye and Hello again.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Up Dharma Down...Oh I loved!
"Di mo lang alam, naiisip kita...Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako"
What a catchy line from UDD's hit single "Oo". Wew. Years ago, I just sang along with Iluminada's theme song "Tadhana" which gave us LSS blues; and I first heard "Oo" when one of my college classmate sang it in a videoke in a carinderia near school. But then just last year, my guy friend Marvin had just influenced me the craziness over Armi Millare (that lady lead vocalist of the band), from downloading "Sana", and letting me hear "Indak" next; quoting every favorite song lines. Then, I fall a bit, from seeing Armi's cool short haircut. Haha.
It was a regret for me, when there was a supposedly opportunity to see Dharma in live gig at Eastwood. Sad story, I refused to push through, coz it was a late night gig in Publiko. I just saw the videos of that gig on a friend's Ipad who happened to be there that night.
I started to like UDD by following Armi's IG account (actually it was Armi alone, and I am not yet familiar with the three guys. Haha) and seeing similarities (like, Armi loves cats!). I downloaded four of their songs, (I manange to mention before, the fourth one is Anino, then replace Tadhana with Luna) and play it on repeat.
But then, another good opportunity came, to see them live at Taguig. Long cut of the story: I deactivated my facebook acct, coz no one wants to come with me. But in short, I still got the three of us to see the band at Mckinley on a sunday night! Yay!
It was a starstruck moment when I first took glance at Armi on the side stage, waiting for a ready signal to come up. Oh, her "maamo" face, and that hair! My eyes automatically focused on her as she sang the first song (which i am not familiar, but it doesn't matter). Friends telling me "the time has come, you were about to see your ultimate girl crush" and I do agree! This is me, in identity versus role confusion. Lols. For that moment, I was about to melt, seeing her even though it was distant, and my own phone camera couldn't capture her face well, and only can manage short blurry instavids. A set of 10 song, i think, made my night. It was actually an awkward crowd, knowing that people in that place were quite, elite, you know, i-just-drop-by-and-there-was-a-band-playing-so-lets-hear-them. But i prefer seeing them in a quiet crowd, that a crowd which was way gaga and crazy that you can't hear a single thing from the performers coz all you heard was screaming from behind. Sad story, the band ended the night with goodnight without giving any signal that it will be the last song of the set.
But, the night may have gone and all, I still have the one-of-a-kind chance: to stand beside her and to have a picture with her, and the band! That feeling when I greeted her good evening, and I just want to melt, while chills running through my bones while we were side by side. An aww-kward moment. But whenever the thought enter my mind, it was crazy! I am so lucky, like, hey, don't wake me up yet! I'm still dreaming.
It was an awesome fab night for me and my two companions. My IG account would say it so. Haha. And now, I just can't resist the thought and obsession of listening to Capacities songs (the latest album, which has the most songs played on that gig night), stalking Armi's 1000+ IG posts, and reviewing the site (now I already knew the three guys of UDD by the name of Ean, Carlos, and Paul)
I hope to saw them again, whenever the chance would be able to allow us. Up Dharma Down was such a good band, and Armi definitely have this goddess voice that I really can't resist. Terno Night at Venice Piazza last sunday was such an astonishing moment I had. ❤
What a catchy line from UDD's hit single "Oo". Wew. Years ago, I just sang along with Iluminada's theme song "Tadhana" which gave us LSS blues; and I first heard "Oo" when one of my college classmate sang it in a videoke in a carinderia near school. But then just last year, my guy friend Marvin had just influenced me the craziness over Armi Millare (that lady lead vocalist of the band), from downloading "Sana", and letting me hear "Indak" next; quoting every favorite song lines. Then, I fall a bit, from seeing Armi's cool short haircut. Haha.
It was a regret for me, when there was a supposedly opportunity to see Dharma in live gig at Eastwood. Sad story, I refused to push through, coz it was a late night gig in Publiko. I just saw the videos of that gig on a friend's Ipad who happened to be there that night.
I started to like UDD by following Armi's IG account (actually it was Armi alone, and I am not yet familiar with the three guys. Haha) and seeing similarities (like, Armi loves cats!). I downloaded four of their songs, (I manange to mention before, the fourth one is Anino, then replace Tadhana with Luna) and play it on repeat.
But then, another good opportunity came, to see them live at Taguig. Long cut of the story: I deactivated my facebook acct, coz no one wants to come with me. But in short, I still got the three of us to see the band at Mckinley on a sunday night! Yay!
It was a starstruck moment when I first took glance at Armi on the side stage, waiting for a ready signal to come up. Oh, her "maamo" face, and that hair! My eyes automatically focused on her as she sang the first song (which i am not familiar, but it doesn't matter). Friends telling me "the time has come, you were about to see your ultimate girl crush" and I do agree! This is me, in identity versus role confusion. Lols. For that moment, I was about to melt, seeing her even though it was distant, and my own phone camera couldn't capture her face well, and only can manage short blurry instavids. A set of 10 song, i think, made my night. It was actually an awkward crowd, knowing that people in that place were quite, elite, you know, i-just-drop-by-and-there-was-a-band-playing-so-lets-hear-them. But i prefer seeing them in a quiet crowd, that a crowd which was way gaga and crazy that you can't hear a single thing from the performers coz all you heard was screaming from behind. Sad story, the band ended the night with goodnight without giving any signal that it will be the last song of the set.
But, the night may have gone and all, I still have the one-of-a-kind chance: to stand beside her and to have a picture with her, and the band! That feeling when I greeted her good evening, and I just want to melt, while chills running through my bones while we were side by side. An aww-kward moment. But whenever the thought enter my mind, it was crazy! I am so lucky, like, hey, don't wake me up yet! I'm still dreaming.
It was an awesome fab night for me and my two companions. My IG account would say it so. Haha. And now, I just can't resist the thought and obsession of listening to Capacities songs (the latest album, which has the most songs played on that gig night), stalking Armi's 1000+ IG posts, and reviewing the site (now I already knew the three guys of UDD by the name of Ean, Carlos, and Paul)
I hope to saw them again, whenever the chance would be able to allow us. Up Dharma Down was such a good band, and Armi definitely have this goddess voice that I really can't resist. Terno Night at Venice Piazza last sunday was such an astonishing moment I had. ❤
posted from Bloggeroid
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Confessions of a food seeker entry one: Project Pie
Hello blogosphere!
It was like, what? Months ago? When I last posted a blog. Wew. That is how busy I am: with all the duties of being a nurse (Supernurse btw!) and facebook-ing all day. Hahaha.
Hmmm...
Since i have this resolution of...weight gaining? Yeah? Haha (just like a joke. Lols) I thought of starting a new adventure in life: i'll call it "confessions of a food seeker" hahahah.
Okay, for my first entry: Project Pie
How I discovered it: Actually, I 'liked' a lot of pages in fb with regards to the food places i would like to visit. Well, I saw this on fb, on one of my fb friend's post, coz they ate there days before my bestfriend and I set a date for us to bond...and seek for a place to eat.
I saw bad reviews on how bad this place was: long serving time, wrong pizza, not good customer service etc. Well I got a little bit intimidated with the reviews and all, but I thought of giving it a try amd see for myself.
So my bestfriend and I went to this pizza place: their branch on eastwood and had the adventure of our make-your-own pizza!
upon queueing and eye-ing the menu stand, a crew assist us on what we should expect of this place. (Accomodating: 1pt!). We decided to order a make-your-own pizza, and a readily customized one (2). As we approach the first counter, stating our orders and names, as a crew attends to make our thin crust pie and placing our chosen tradinional red sauce. Then, we were led to the second counter, where we point out the ingredients that we want for our pizza. As we finished layering the toppings (including the cheese yum yum) the pies are placed on a very hot oven. A crew on the third counter held me two piece of paper mat with my name spelled "mike" instead of "mai" (which was i told the first lady and i spelled it out loud) I recognized the mistake and ask to correct my name, because i am scared of getting my order messed up with others. Haha. Then I pay our orders on the checkout counter and my bestfriend take turn on finding a good seat for us. As I was about to seat on the chair, my name was called and our pizza's ready. (Wow that was fast: plus points).
The pizza was good. Perfect crust, tomato sauce were the most tasted ever. The pepperoni tops it all. Plus, i like the china mist tea three times. You called the experience "busolve"
we had the long talks and more laughs with the good food. Sulit! I bought a mineral water with the oh so stylic bottle, just for the sake of the bottle itself. Haha! We took pictures, and the best photobombing we had happened that night!
To top it all, it was good. I would recommend it to those who are asking. Its a must try experience for those who will eat there for the first time. :)
It was like, what? Months ago? When I last posted a blog. Wew. That is how busy I am: with all the duties of being a nurse (Supernurse btw!) and facebook-ing all day. Hahaha.
Hmmm...
Since i have this resolution of...weight gaining? Yeah? Haha (just like a joke. Lols) I thought of starting a new adventure in life: i'll call it "confessions of a food seeker" hahahah.
Okay, for my first entry: Project Pie
How I discovered it: Actually, I 'liked' a lot of pages in fb with regards to the food places i would like to visit. Well, I saw this on fb, on one of my fb friend's post, coz they ate there days before my bestfriend and I set a date for us to bond...and seek for a place to eat.
I saw bad reviews on how bad this place was: long serving time, wrong pizza, not good customer service etc. Well I got a little bit intimidated with the reviews and all, but I thought of giving it a try amd see for myself.
So my bestfriend and I went to this pizza place: their branch on eastwood and had the adventure of our make-your-own pizza!
upon queueing and eye-ing the menu stand, a crew assist us on what we should expect of this place. (Accomodating: 1pt!). We decided to order a make-your-own pizza, and a readily customized one (2). As we approach the first counter, stating our orders and names, as a crew attends to make our thin crust pie and placing our chosen tradinional red sauce. Then, we were led to the second counter, where we point out the ingredients that we want for our pizza. As we finished layering the toppings (including the cheese yum yum) the pies are placed on a very hot oven. A crew on the third counter held me two piece of paper mat with my name spelled "mike" instead of "mai" (which was i told the first lady and i spelled it out loud) I recognized the mistake and ask to correct my name, because i am scared of getting my order messed up with others. Haha. Then I pay our orders on the checkout counter and my bestfriend take turn on finding a good seat for us. As I was about to seat on the chair, my name was called and our pizza's ready. (Wow that was fast: plus points).
The pizza was good. Perfect crust, tomato sauce were the most tasted ever. The pepperoni tops it all. Plus, i like the china mist tea three times. You called the experience "busolve"
we had the long talks and more laughs with the good food. Sulit! I bought a mineral water with the oh so stylic bottle, just for the sake of the bottle itself. Haha! We took pictures, and the best photobombing we had happened that night!
To top it all, it was good. I would recommend it to those who are asking. Its a must try experience for those who will eat there for the first time. :)
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