BEFORE AN ANOTHER ‘YEAR-END COUNTDOWN’

-->Sa hinaba-haba ng oras ko sa pagne-net these past two days, hindi ko na lubos maisip kung anong dapat kong iupdate sa blog kong ‘toh. Well, anyway, magdadrama lang ako ng slight bago matapos ang taon…

2010 is just a few hours away while I’m writing this. Hope I can post this on time, so that few, or many of those people could still read it.

THANK YOU’’s

Thanks for this year whatever happened to me. I just then realized that hindi lang pala puro kamalasan o kabiguan, or even puro tagumpay at kasiyahan ang naranasan ko. Both lang, tama lang, eksakto lang. salamt sa lahat ng mithiing natupad, sa lahat ng saying naramdaman, sa lahat ng tawang naihalakhak, at higit sa lahat, sa lahat ng natutunan kong lessons at new knowledge not only in the aspect of my studies, but also in the aspect of life. Naks!

Compared to last year, thank God dahil nagmatured na ko. (ng slight? Haha). Maraming bagay ang nagturo skin para umusad. Bumilang nanaman ako ng isang taon para mag-level up. Thanks sa lahat ng yun.

To all my loved ones, thank god at andyan pa din sila. Walang nagbago.

To my beloved friends- clickfriendz- as usual, ang dami nanaman nilang naitulong sa ‘kin sa bawat araw na nagkasama kami. Sobrang dami nanaman naming bonding days, mga kawarlahan sa buhay, pero they still stayed these times. Alam ko yang mga kalokohan naming yan. Kahit medyo disappointing yung ibang happenings na hindi talaga maganda, thank you pa din for sharing another year with me. Salamat sa lahat ng understanding. Thanks guys!

To my UC family, CI’s and RLE groupmates(A2 and C1), classmates, professors, etc. subrang mahal ko pdin ang UC khit anong batikos ang pilit na ibinabato sa kanila, sa amin. Ngayong taon ko naranasang first time na pumalpak at ma-repeat sa case, at first time din na pagkapasa. First time hospital duty, first psychiatric duty, first TIV meds, first ER duty (yung pagtanggal ng suture:D), waaaaah, ano pa bang first time para lang masabi kong pinaramdam niyo sa kin ang buhay ng isang nurse!!

Thanks also to those other friends and people I’ve shared a bit of my life. At bago ko din makalimutan, I thanked those times that for how many years, we had been reunited with my long lost childhood friends. And those times that we’ve been together again with my bestfriend.

Sa lahat ng kakatwa at nakakatakot na experience, “near-death experiences” as we say, at sa lahat ng pusong bigo na hanggang ngayon eh nananatili pa din akong ‘single’ sa facebook at friendster.

SORRY’s

Di ko dinedeny sa madlang pipol na marami din akong sinaktan at pinaiyak. Marami din akong binigo, at madami din akong kasalanan. At lahat ng ‘toh ay hindi ko pa binabawian or may mga times na hindi pa talaga ko humingi ng sorry dahil ang kapal ng pes ko at ang taas ng pride ko. So, sorry po. Hindi ko alam kung sadyang katangahan o kalupitan talaga toh.

Sa lahat ng lait ng mga nilait ko. Sorry den, (ang lupet ko tlaga. Rawr!)

WISHES and RESOLUTIONS

‘di talaga ko naniniwala sa ‘new year’s resolution’ kasi, sabi ni kuya kim, 90% of the new year’s resolution na yan eh hindi naman talaga natutpad, at ang pinaka hindi talaga natutupad ay ang ‘losing weight’ na yan. So, as for me na hindi naman kelangan magbawas ng timbang, I want to be the opposite of it. Haha. Sa sobrang awa ko lang talaga sa sarili ko. Gagawin ko na lang in general, na anumang gusto kong baguhin sa sarili ko, eh, will let it just happen.

I wish for this year a good health for all my loved ones. Kahit ganito na ko kapayat, basta in good health na lang sila. Hehe

Best grades. Ayoko talagang bumagsak sa kahit anong subject. Sana rin wala nang repeat cases.

To have my ‘minor and major cases’ in RLE. Hoping din ako sa sobrang daming experiences kahit huggardness, okey lang.haha.

*sighs* kelangan ko bang hilingin to?? boyfriend.

Another prosperous year. Dahil pangarap ko talagang yumaman, eh sana bawas bawas na yung problemang pampinansyal ko.

More happiness to my friends. And super long understandings pa. sana rin mas madalas na yung times na nakukumpleto tayo, and yung mga times na nakakapag-open natayo freely sa buong grupo.

Lastly, sana lahat ng to, at lahat pa ng dapat kong i-wish ay matupad.

This has been a good year. Hoping to have any better next year.

May god bless me---us!!

Goodbye…tapos na drama ko, iwan na kita dito. Pati lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko. jan ka na!

SAY HELLO TO 2010!!HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

:)

Inspired by those people who keep flooding my inbox for their new year greetings.

house of "therapeutic communication"^^

Eto ang panimula ng buhay ko sa piling ng mga bago kong kaakibat sa bawat case, duty, at maging sa classroom ngayong second sem: C1.

Well, kahit papa’no eh, unti-unti na akong nakaka-recover sa depression kong nawalay na ako sa mga dati kong ka-group. Siguro nga kelangan kong tanggapin na gano’n talaga mga batas. Eh kelan bang may nagawa ako sa mga ganyang bagay. I shouldn’t spend times na nagmumukmok ako sa ganung dahilan. Life goes on! Andyan pa din naman lagi sila eh

As I said, start of something new. New pakikisama to new people, although kilala ko naman sila. Dito nagsimula yung task namin as a group. As what I called “house of therapeutic communication”. Bakit??? Malalaman niyo mamaya.

“The Clinic of Holy Spirit” – dyan yung first (trulajen!!) area namin. Mmmmmmmm. “community of holy spirit” pa daw sabi nung una. Pandinig pa lang clinic lang. oo, tama. Clinic lang. for special people. Mmmmmmmmmm. Special people ba? Ga’no nga ba sila ka-special?

Para sa kaalaman lang naman ng lahat, eh bago ka makapag-duty, nasa bingit ka ng paggawa ng incidence report dahil hindi lang siya nasa vicinity ng Rizal. Nasa Los Angeles lamang siya. Cubao. (sosyal!!). oh ‘di ba?? Ma-late at maligaw ka muna bago ka makarating. Pero sa kaso naming ayaw ma-IR nung first day, nag-pa-isang byahe na lang kami sa mabait na driver ng fx, ‘wag lang kami maligaw. Ayun, sa awa ni bro, muntik lang kami maligaw ng landas ng slight. Nung second day, nawarla na yung fx driver na sinakyan namin kaya nilakad naming mula farmers hanggang gateway na bang layo. Muntik ding ma-late pero sakto pa din ang dating.

Dahil bago sa lugar, eh medyo takot pa yung mga pes naming sumabak, although alam naman namin kung anong klaseng mga tao yung nandoon. Matakot ka lalo na baka paglabas mo eh isa ka na ding baliw, as it was described in a simple word. Well, hindi siya pulang bubong, pulang gate siya:D

Spending the first two days…
Kapag first day, orientation day syempre. Yung mga bawal at mga dapat. Kung sa ‘kin lang, excited ako dahil sa mga kinwento na rin ng mga nakapagduty na, pero medyo kinabahan na pagdating dun sa place. Isa lang naman yung pinakakinatakutan namin: baka kasi magwala at manakit. Ano na lang nangyari sa ‘min pag ganun?

Kaya ang siste, kapitan kami sa kung sinong kagrupo nang makapitan sobrang takot pagpasok naming dun sa grounds nila. Kahit may pakeme-kemeng pokerface ng slight, syempre nursing student, bawal duwag. Hehehe. ‘di ko kaagad makakalimutan yung kauna-unahang patient na umagaw atensyon sa ‘min: si Rochelle. Catatonic siya, ika nga nung instructor namin. Yung tipong robotic kung kumilos. Kasabay kasi naming siyang naglalakad papuntang nurse’s station nun, eh kala mo super taray kung makatingin sa ‘yo (kulang na lang susunggaban ka na lang niya) pero wapakels pa din. Nung time na yun, exercise yung activity nila kaya lahat sila nasa grounds. Dun ko na nakita yung mga sari-sarili nilang topak. May makulit tulad ni wally, yung shulak ng shulak ng mga pangaral na bawal manigarilyo, bawal magsugal, etc., meron din na may dala-dalang board games na nakikipag-deal daw sa kalaro, at saka si sir na araw araw na lang birthday niya. Pero karamihan sa kanila, depressed or social withdrawn.

Kahit papa’no eh rumerekober ka din sa takot mong pumasok ulit dun. ‘di muna naming nagawang makihalubilo nung una dahil nga takot. More on orientation muna kami that day, kung ano ba talaga yung nasa loob ng akala-mo-bahay na yun. Then, kinukwento naman sa ‘min nung instructor namin kung sino talaga yung mga nandun, kung pa’no sila kumilos, ano ugali, etc. dahil dun, nag-aral ulit kami ng THERAPEUTIC COMMUNICATION. Dahil kung hindi, hindi ka talaga makaka-survive pakikipag-usap sa kanila sa loob. For these whole two days (especially the second one) wala na kaming binantayan sa mga sarili naming kundi yung paggamit namin ng therapeutic communication. Syempre, hindi ka pwedeng makasakit sa ganung paraan, baka sila lalong mabaliw, or much worse, ikaw ang mabaliw. (kung tutuusin nga, eh, nabaliw na rin ako kakakausap at kakaisip ng mga dapat sabihin sa kanila, dahil bawal na bawal ang “bakit?”). na-refresh din namin yung mga coping mechanism, defense mechanism, and nalaman din namin yung mga disturbances in perception, affect, speech, motor, memory. Akalain mo yun? Malaman-laman naming na ganun din kami minsan. Hahahah:D
Syempre, NPR/NPI (nurse-patient relationship/interaction) na wiz ko pang knowslai ang meaning nung una.:P

Nang dahil sa medyo nagtatagal na yung stay naming sa loob nung mga sumunod na pasok, na-o-overcome na naming lahat ng takot. At the same time, naeenjoy na din kahit papa’no yung area. Saka pagod(sa byahe). Hehehe. Comfortable na din kami sa orientation and working phase namin with our patients nung second day. Sobrang ingat lang talaga sa lahat ng itatanong. At saka wag kang mukhang borlogs kausap! Kung ayaw mong malayasan ng patient (tulad ng nangyari sa ‘kin sa una kong pasyente).

Kahit sobrang hustle dahil sa daming task, pagod sa byahe, sobrang natuwa ako na nabigyan kami ng chance na makapagduty sa area na yun. Sobrang dami kong natutunan:
• mag-control, mag-isip, maging maingat about sa lahat ng dapat mong itanong/sabihin sa mga taong makakasalamuha mo, especially dun sa mga magiging pasyente mo in the future.
• matutong mag-explore ng personality ng isang tao para maintindihan siya.
• patience is a virtue. May mga tao talagang irritable o kaya mainipin minsan.
• yung mga katulad nilang ‘special people’, dapat silang bigyang atensyon. Atensyon na hindi dapat katakutan o pandirian. Treat them as a ‘people’. Tao din sila tulad mo. ‘di sila iba sa ‘tin kung tutuusin. Medyo pumaling lang ang nervous system nila compared sa ‘tin.
• may mga taong ‘kala mo normal sa unang tingin, pero may mental/personality disorder pala.
• pakikisama. Super important.
• ipakitang belong ka sa bawat environment na matungtungan mo. Para din sa ‘yo yan.
• maging matapang!!
• kung sabi nga sa ‘kin ni babes sa letter niya sa ‘kin na ako na daw ang pinaka-understanding sa clickfriendz, well, kelangan mo pa ring iimprove yun. Malay mo, sa clickfriendz lang pala ko may understanding:P
• be alert. May mga tao kasing SPO, baka ka hatakin at pag-interesan ang iyong kagandahan. Yun pala, matapos mang-agaw ng boy bawang, bibitawan ka na.
• maging katiwa-tiwala. Para magaan ang loob sa ‘yo.
• treat others as you treat yourself. In a good way ah. That’s called self-awareness.
• matutong i-handle ang sariling emosyon. ‘wag masyadong makiki-iyak. Baka mamaya, mabaliw ka na din. ‘empathy, not sympathy’

marami na siguro ‘yan. Pero marami pa, super exhausted lang talaga na ako kaya wala na din akong maisip. Basta, ang sa ‘kin lang, parang ang sarap-sarap balikan ng area na ito. Mukhang mag-eenjoy ata ako sa psychiatric nursing. Feeling ko kasi napaandar ko yung utak ko sa areang ‘to. Isa pang nakakatuwa, nawala ako sa boredom na buhay ward nung 101, although meron pa din kahit papa’no, pero challenge sa ‘kin yung pagpunta naming dito sa CHS. Bukod pa dun, ang bilis pa namin nagkapalagayang-loob ng mga ka-group ko dahil sa self-assessment na nangyari sa ‘min kanina. Medyo nahuhuli na naming yung personality ng isa’t isa. Akalain mo yung hindi raw akong problemadong tao. (o ‘di lang talaga ako problemado ngayon??).

sana, tuloy-tuloy lang na maging enjoy yung bawat duty ko as a nursing student, kahit challenging and mahirap, dahil kelan nga ba nagkar’on ng madali. And hopefully, have my first ever case(yung case na may papirma-pirma effect!) soon))

before I forgot, may natitira pa pala kaming dalawang araw dun next week. Well, busy days. Medyo ipagdasal niyo na lang din ako na sana ‘di ako matuluyang mabaliw matapos nito. hahahaha. LOL!!:D

bagong 'depression'

Well, haaaayyyyzzzzz…

Again, I’m feelin’ sad. Depressed. Unhappy. Down. Glum. Disheartened. Miserable. Lahat na para i-describe kung ga’no ako kalungkot.

Akala ko naka-survive na din ako. Kung tutusin, simple lang naman yung dahilan. ‘di naman mabigat kaya walang dapat alalahanin. But then again, umiral nanaman yung pagiging ‘nega’ ko. ‘di ko na pahahabain. Simple lang talaga yung pinagmulan. Enrollment.

Sabi ko naman simple lang ‘di ba? Pero bakit? Yan ang tanong.

Hindi naman dahilan yung super worried ka kung makakapag-aral o makakapag-enroll ka pa dahil sa kahirapan. Oo, dahilan yun ng lahat. Pero sa ‘kin? Sanay na ako na lagi na lang yang ang pangunahing dahilan. Pero positively thinking, kayang gawan ng paraan. Time. Yan ang tunay na dahilan. Time para lakarin ang lahat ng kailangan ko para lang makapag-enroll ako on time. Confusing pa din ba?

I have everything set at the first place. Alam ko na kung kelan ko makukuha yung classcard ko sa NCM nun, alam ko na din kung kelan ako makakakuha ng blue form. Kahit medyo hapon na, at katatapos ko lang mag-exam nun sa nutri, alam ko na sa wakas, maa-accomplish ko na lahat ng kelangan ko. I even choose to not join our group’s swimming for the sake of this. Eto na. sinalubong ako ng isang ‘RLE Clearance’ pagdating ko sa registrar. Meaning, hindi pa pala dito nagtatapos. Banding huli, wala akong nakuhang blue form at the end of the day.

The day after, I was hoping that I could accomplish this clearance. Sadly, hindi pa din ako umabot sa dean. Bumalik pa ako after the holidays to finish it. Well, natapos ko naman but still, late pa din.

Sabi ko nga makakuha lang ako ng blue form, okay na. late na din naman ako makakapag-enroll kahit anong gawin ko. well, naging okay nga naman. Kung tutusin nga, super thankful ako sa mga friends ko na tinulungan akong asikasuhin ang lahat, at sa ma tinatamad mag-enroll for the week dahil may kasama akong mag-eenroll. Kahit late na. ayoko talagang ma-late. Feeling ko kasi mawawala ako sa dati kong section, sa dati kong mga ka-group. ‘di ba nakakalungkot yun? Iniisip mo pa lang na mahihiwlay ka na, malulungkot ka talaga. Malakas lang yung faith ko na kami kami pa din next sem. Pero akala ko lang pala yun.

Kahit pala magmaaga ako ng enroll, sa hiwalayan din pala ang tuloy. I received these messages from my friends updating on school. Sadly, ‘new sections’. Yeah. Nice :│. In alphabetical order. That means, new classmates, new group mates, new cases, and the worst part, new ‘pakikisama’.

Well, akala ko masaya na ako. Banding huli hindi pala. Sa lahat ng nangyari sa akin for the whole two weeks, this is the most depressing part. Super sad na ako nung hindi na ‘ko nakasama ng swimming but this is much worse. I love my group. Honestly. The one I’ve been wishing for. The least and much better than I expect. Hindi sila kasing simple ng iba na para lang sa RLE. Hindi lang basta kasama sa bawat duty at gawaan ng case. At hinding-hindi, as in NEVER naging kaaway o kaalitan ng dahil sa case, o kahit sa anong bagay. (oops!)(di pala never un noh, madalang pala). Super depressed, sad, unhappy, down, glum, disheartened ako na hindi na kami magkakasama this time. Sana naman kahit isang sem, pinagsama pa nila kami ‘no. A chance for just another semester. Hindi ko sukat akalain na yung araw ng huling revision ng case naming yung huling araw na nakapag-bonding ako kasama sila. Na yung swimming na yun yung huling happening na dapat andun ako. I would really miss such things I experienced with them. Yung tipong kahit nagkakapikunan na, masaya pa din. Kahit super sakit na ng ulo kakagawa ng case, hindi nawawla yung tawanan. If you really need a hand, andyan sila kahit moral support lang.haha.



A2, ayan bandang huli alay ko pala senyo 2ng blog ‘kong ito. (my mkabasa nga naman kaya???) . hindi niyo sukat akalain kung gaano ko kayo mamimiss. Bonggang bongga talaga. Super worried ako nung una kung anong klase kayo ka-group (na halos si Kevin lang ang ka-close ko nung una) na hindi ko sukat akalain an ganito pala kasaya. Sana nga isang sem pa eh. Kaso mukhang hindi tayo pinagbigyan. May pagka-redundant man (at madrama) na yung mga linyang ito, la akong pake sa nararamdaman nila. Bxta luv ko keo. Lam nyo un!!
Tnx sa lahat ng moments na nakasama ko kayo. Good man yun o bad. Sa lahat ng tinuro niyo sa ‘kin. Mula sa kalokohan, hanggang sa kalokohan (este kabutihan). Sa mga jowk2x times, sa facebook times, jan sa mga farm at poker na hindi ako nakarelate ng madalas, sa mga tsismis (haha, lam nio yan) at sa lahat ng pambabanat . This group, another one who molds me for my very best, who treats me just the way I belong to them. Bitin yung first semester ko with you. Sana talaga isa pa. aun.

Ang jowk time…
May isang puno, ano bunga??
Mais!!! Aaawwww…

May magagawa nga naman ba tayo kung ganun talaga mga batas? Ako, madepress lang ng tunay. Hindi ko na alam what will happen next. Sana nga panaginip lang yung mga natanggap kong text kanina, pero asa naman ako ‘di ba?.hayy, buti pa yung iba. Natupad yung mga wish nila na mawalay na sa mga kagrupo nilang _____ (whatever.).

Sabi nga nila, i-facebook ko na lang ito. Well, tama sila. Ipe-pesbuk ko na nga lang. (sighs!).

night life!

i suddenly remembered this night.
oo nga noh, eto pla yung kauna-unahang pagkakataong pinayagan akong mag-overnyt with friends!

haay..i miz dis nyt! parang napakaikli ng gabing ito. super nag-enjoy nga ba kami? hmmm, ako, sakto lang..

then, i just realized na ang ibig sabihin pala ng gabing ito ay improvement ng sarili ko. oo, tama! improvement. i know i've been good for a week. yung tipong uwi ng maaga, doing household chores, etc. kya napapayag ko rin! nice! pinapayagan na sa mga ganito noh! hahaha.kya sa bndang huli, ako pa din ang masaya. madaming nangyari that night, lalu na sa mga frndz ko. at nakakalorkey yon! pero may part na nakakapanghinayang, nkakaloka, pero ayos pa din.

napapa-wow na nga sila sa 'kin. yung tipong parang dati lang, di ako ganito. hahaha. atleast ngaon, nakaranas na ako ng NIGHT LIFE na tinatawag. ako rin nagugulat.

sana ganito lagi. at kung ciang tunay nga, eh sisimulan ko na ang pagiging MAS mabait ngayon din!

pero sa bandang huli, it's still van's night. siya ang bida!:)
sana daw gabi gabi na lang bday ni van..hahah


at dahil natapos na ito, marami na naman akong naiwanan sa kabila ng enjoyment namin.
going back to normal life.

this pic's nice!!!

ang kyut ng picture na toh!!!hahaha..natutuwa ako..haaay, sayang wala kaming pictoot ni cy na solo naming dalawa..hmmmnn..haay...

luv it!!!yun lang..wala lang...wala na kong masabi kasi nakakahilo..hahaha..

ciao.

something i've missed

waaaaahhh. i’ve missed a lot of things. i’ve badly lost my internet connection that I cant bother to update the blog. grrrr!!!!

August 7, 2009: capping and pinning ceremony. Had our best uniforms. And a long way trip to the venue. Tsk! But still, the so-called ‘solemn ceremony’ became a ‘just-fun’ as evidenced by so many pictures taken:




After a long processional, a mass that ended us hungry, at last!! I got mine. My cap. This is it. A start of something not so new, but a start of a more challenging tasks.

Feelings of holding a lamp
The program’s pacing is indeed fast. You’ll just know that the row in front of yours had just ‘capped’ and surprisingly, its your turn. Sobrang nanginginig ka na, pero ‘di dahil sa kaba. Dahil sa sobrang lamig na hindi mo matiis!!torture yung feeling na yun. Pero super saya. Yung tipong anjan yung mga friends and classmates mo na nagawa ka pang i-cheer hbang lumalakad. Yung tipong mapapa jai ho ka..:D gladly, I’ve received the lamp. Sarap kxe uminit na. nwla na yung nginig factor. And that’s it. I just saw myself floating on stage with that flashing lights and something was placed over my head.

August 10-14 2009: unciano’s ‘32th’ foundation week celebration
Yes, you seeing it right ‘32th’. Yan kxe yung nkalagay sa signature shirt ng section nila van. Imbes na ‘32nd’

Expecting that super busy ka the whole week. And in conclusion, ikaw pa rin ang super ‘weak’. Super busy being the so-called shift leader, na walang ginawa kundi magbantay ng registration na kung saan umani ng puro chismakan, at the same time, ng marriage booth, na kung saan nakasaksi ka ng mga kasalang hindi mo mawari kung may kalalabasan ba, just aiming for the fee (and not also denying yourself being married, twice!!!)

Msaya din magbantay ng registration paminsan-minsan. Tipong papetiks petiks ka lang, at makipagchismakan kung wla kang magawa. Di mo nga lang maiiwasan na super daming pasaway. Magmula sa mga ka-group mong late or hindi nagshishift, at lalo na yung mga pinakapasaway na estudyanteng nagpupumilit pumasok ng wlang ticket.

Pero mas masaya sa booth nung first day (na hindi ko nasaksihan dhil nsa reg.ako). yung mga tipong ‘wedding of the year’. Mapa-instructor o simpleng estudyante lang na nahatak mo kung saan ang ikinakasal. Minsan, mag-jowa pa yung nagpapakasal. Kulang na lang maging simbahan yung booth namin. Pero dito ka tlaga magwawala. Ang gawin kang ‘Buena manong kasal’, and ‘last-minute wedding’. Di mo alam kung maiinis ka, maiiyak, o dapat ka bang tumalon talon (o, (oh sige na nga,hmf!) kiligin). Again, I just saw myself shouting. Yun na yon.

Programs: unciano got talent, mr. and ms. Unciano and foundation night.
Feeling behind the bleachers
You’re just one ordinary audience sitting along the bleachers of the gym, and yet, you’re just watching a classmate or even a friend perform, and you’ll never help yourself to cheer and shout with all your might. You’re just a pound of heartbeat away for the results.nagkaubusan na ng boses at pagod lahat lahat. Lahat na ng dumaan sa harapan mo eh gwapo. At naturingang mga kaibigan mo pa un. Ayun, matuwa ka dahil pasok sa final 5 ang bet mo. Hahahah.at dahil sa isang pagkakamali, halos isasabit na lang sa kanya yung sash, panalo na. pero dahil mali nga, hindi pala siya yung panalo. Muntik lang. at dahil nga mali, best in formal pa cya.but still final 5 pdin, with astounding two awards brought. Ayus na din. Lahat nman ng friendship mo bigatin ang awards. People’s choice awards and mr. photogenic, will you imagine that?

And at foundation night, nothing happened. I mean, I knew nothing. Wala ako eh, umiiyak buong araw.

Wla ako sa mood kea panget yung na blog ko. I just want to keep it updated. That’s it.

.frndz.

frndz..

gx2 q lng pu humingi ng sori s dq pgpnta khp0n..belated hapi frndsary pu pla..aun,mukhng ngenjoy nman kau kht wla aq..

to be honst,my prob.lng pu tlga q kea pu d aq nkpnta khp0n..family problm..gus2 qng pmunta..pro kxe mrmi ng iniisp d2,mrmi ng pgdu2da..hndi nq honest s knla..which is true nmn..hndi n totoo ung mga dhlan q..i hve nothing to be excused now..

pro guyz,dq kau cnisisi d2,never will!!frndz q kau and lhat kya qng gwin pra sa inyo..pro gz2 q mng gumawa ng mga bgay,gz2 q in a honest way.hndi lng sa inyo,pro s lhat ng tao..

alam niu nman n open aq s lht ng bgay pgdtng sa inyo..feeling q kxe knakarma nq s lhat ng bgay n gngwa q..feeling q lhat mali..hndi mn mali s inyo,pr0 tnatago q s iba dhl pgdtng s knla,d tma ung mga gngwa q..

kagustuhan q lhat ng gngwa q,so there's nothing to be worried about it..ayoko n po ng my tntgo aq ngaun s iba..

so,xnxia pu kng hndi ndn aq mk2sma s ibang gala nxt tym..ibg sbhn lng pu nun,wla nqng maidadahlan..sna pu d kau nga2lit,ngt2mpo, or mgalit at mgtmp0 skn dhl d2..mskit skn to dhl bka icpn niu n d aq gmagwa ng praan pra mksma kau..kng pwde q lng sbhn n aalis aq dhl gux2 qng gumala kxma kau,g2wn q..pro alam nmn ntn ung kla2bsan db?!disappointing lng..

mrmi aqng gs2ng gwn kxma kau, pro cmula ngaun, blik nnman ako s hawla..wlng freedom..just for d sake of this honesty to them..

wg niu dn ako snang gwing dhlan pra d ndn kau sumama s kht anong lakad n pnaplano niu..u always shud deserve an enjoyment even without me..wg niu sna dng sbhng hndi dn nman kau mgeenjoy kze wla aq..wg niu pung icpng isa aqng kwlan pg wla aq..hnda pdn nman pu qng 2mulong pg anjn aq at kng kailngn niu mn aq..

lam q my undrstndng ang mga frndz q..kya sna naiintndhn niu 2..icpn niu mng mdrama 2,pro 22o pu kxe to..

sori pu kng bka iniicp niu n pti 2ng problmang 2 dndla q s inyo..cnsbi q lng nman pu 2 pra d ndn pu kau mgtn0ng o mgtaka nxt tym..wg niu pu snang icpng kdmay kau d2 ah..akn lng pu 2..im just explaining things 2 u..

sori pu ulet..mrming mrming 'sorry'..

iluvyah :'(

.ex-pi. (short for experience)

whew!!so happy..another successful case presentation has come and gone..although the case was revised, atleast it's not a repeat presentation..ü

i didn't like my first experience in e.r yesterday..i had the feeling of amazement and excitement. it's like my inner senses are jumping and telling: 'at last!!i'll be escaping the boredom life in ward. i'll be out for some challenging (okay lang khit toxic!) experience in e.r'. and i really don't like it. what happened? i experienced removing suture, which is, although, good. kaso palpak!! mega nginig nginig pa yung kamay ko na 'di mawari kung pa'no hahawakan yung forceps. kada hila nung tahi/sinulid na tinatanggal qu, umaaray tuloy yung pasyente ko. ayun,feeling ko tuloy me galit skin un..haha..

so much for mistakes, and not much of a sermon from my instructor. but still, it's a heck of unwanted thing. though i gained 0.5exp. don't know if people were just stressed out,or something. or we're just like preheated like a food in a pan. resulting to culture shock. we're people who stepped through a 'panic' floor.

but still, it's all fine. as long as the Lord above had answered my prayers, latter experiences are all fine. still okay. at least,i gained that 0.5. it was still a half value of a one. maybe i'll earn the other half, and another whole. hopefully.

lessons are learned from super mistakes. be well behave. what a moral thing i learned after that almost 32 hrs.exposure.

..and wards are somewhat boring. when your patient is not applicable of having his medication at your shift.

looking forward on the next rotation.

.i had been...

pleasure!!

it's been a while since i've last posted another blog. well, i've been busy finding unknown readers. that is,if i have any.hindi na din ako naadik kaka-blog eh.ewan ko ba?!it seems that i haven't anything to post.i just don't like posting dramas from now on.bagong buhay?!haha..:D

been so happy these last few days.we passed our first ncm101 case study presentation.and at last made a history on my unciano life:)..because,(stating again)as most of all know that my first ever case flopped,(which is also stated at my previous blogs below,so better read it if you're one of the inocent.haha), and that's part of past,so i don't want it to be remembered.haha. then,been sick for a few days before the presentation.

duties? quite tiring, but not toxic.maybe lame! never been into hands-on activities such as giving meds, IV regulations,etc. i get so bored and so tired stucked up on always taking v/s.

issues on luv: don't care. excluding the fact that i am finally sure,to myself and to all the people around, that now, i finally had moved on. without the 'buts'. i don't care whether some doesn't or will never believe on the words i have said. i don't care how they think 'bout it, and i really won't care if he'll continue throwing silly jokes, cheesy lines, or even make hard banats. it's not a big deal to me now. it's all 'deadma' nlang.

hapi nga ba q?? oo,pero my times cguro na nagdududa pa q. but of course, it'll end up in the same thing. i've let go, and i've moved on. kadesperadahan nlang ang klaban ko. pro xempre, wla din aqng pake dun. i have my own priorities in life, and i dont have any time considering that thing. there's plenty of time for such thing. if it's faith who'll bring somebody to me, i'm always open to accept it. besides,i'm still here, still waiting.

currently, i'm just focused on my studies eventhough im not satisfied with some of the things. i am happy in the company of my friends. i am having good times, but still, i suffer on bad things sometimes. and here i am,surviving.

'i could have been worse, but doing better (and still staying STRONG).'
.
.
.
..pa-nosebleed lang.baket ba?!haha.:D

.THE 'BAR' AND THE HAPPINESS!!.(the cLickfriendz'S firSt ever anniverSary.ü)

-cLick5: babez, van, jake, mai and ana.
-pluz one: cy
-with escortz: jay and kev
-feat.1M: mitch

18th of june 2009: of course,the date yesterday.the day in which the people listed ab0ve would never forget,next to their bdays.the day they experienced happiness m0re than they expect ever!

ang araw na wlang kaplan0 plan0 s kung anung mngya2ri s buhay namin.at sa kng anung klaseng enjoyment ang blak nmin gawin.bsta kumpleto at buo ang barkada,okei na un!!

e dahil sa hndi nmin natiis n wlang mngyayaring espexal s araw n un eh ngpsya kaming mgpka-earth loving, nature-themed at mging adventurous: hinulugang taktak!

and there!!may place na!xmpre,lunch ang celebration, ng-ihaw kme ng b0nggang b0nggang tilapia at ska hotdog.woohoo. tp0z pumakyaw ng de-lata at umin0m ng rc hbng kumakaen s dh0n ng sging!!

nxt batch: ayan n ang 'bar'!!waaah..pnaik0t n mgmula s click5,pluz 1,s esc0rtz,dn ky mitch.at muntk png mkalmutn c kuya pat!!at hbang umiin0m ng bar, sndamakmak nman ng chichirya ang hndi rn tnantanan: hndi tnantnang kainin,papakin, gwing pambat0 ng kng cnu2, isalpak s bibig ng my bibig, gwing 'c0nfetti' at hgt s lhat, basagin ang 'tempura' s ul0 ng kaibigan n pra lng bnbsgan mu cia ng itl0g..haha..

mtp0z ang kainan,inuman, sbunutan,smpalan, kgatan,harutan, bsgan,bnatan, basaan ng alcohol, isama mu p ang twanan at iyakan, eh di uwian na!!haha..

t2pusin b nman nmin ang araw kng wlng k2nta ng 'destiny' at bgyan ang bwat isa ng 'super HUGS!'

tp0z mla2man knabukzn ung mga kl0k0hn: mga mskit n ul0 dhl s buk0l(aq!), dilang nging blue(aq!),muntk mwlan ng ph0ne, nwlan ng pay0ng, mga nag-uwi ng chicha(s ul0 ska bulsa),mga kng anung kaekekng d nmalyn, pti kuhaan ng pmasahe..haha..

kht mej0 nbitin,at medy0 ngksktan,super enj0y pdn.we s0o loved the day.

s pnkam2hal qng clickfrndz, super duper über tnx tlga,d lng dhl s nksal0 q kau s supr spexal day n i2, kndi dhl dn s mga m0mentz, s mga arw ng kcyhn at klungkutn, tagumpay at kbiguan, kl0k0hn, kcbuyasan, ilng cry0s0ng bgay, tnx pu s0bra.nanatli kau skn at nging mtatag 2ng smhng i2

s kxma qng ngpcmun0 ng smhang it0, click5,tnx dhl isang ta0n niu qng cnamahan s fruitful frndshp na 2.isng ta0n niu qng inalagaan s pling niu,at isng ta0n niung tnanggap c 'mai' kng cnu mn cia dti at ngaun.

s access0ries-pLuz one, esc0rtz and 1M,-and visit0rz,tnx dn dhl dumatng kau smn at tnulungn niu kming itaguy0d ang smhng it0 watevr happens.

s mga mnsang nsktan, ngtmp0, nainis, ngalit, nyam0t.s0ri puh ng mdami.s mga ndamay s kaabn0rmalan at kt0pakan q, s0ri dn pu.

guyz,dq maexplain kng gnu q kau kmhal.kau ung tp0 ng kaibgang ay0k0 ng mwla s buhay q.kya sna pu, mg-last 2ng frndshp n 2 ng super tgal,and f God wud permit, i h0pe this last thru FOREVER!

once again(sa blog nman,tp0x n s pers0nal,tp0x n s txt!)

HAPPY FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY cLick5 pLuz onE with eScOrtz feat.1M!!!

iloveyousoooomuch!!

hugz and kisses
from -mai-ü

worries.

i've missed you a lot.

yet,i've got so much to worry.thoughts. bout many things.

we talked.yet we're very silent to each other. lyk we're some sort of strange people. unlike that last time that we had this kind of talk. we're so cheerful,that it seems to me that it's been years since we've saw or communicate with each other. seems that time is too short for us, yet we have to make use wisely of that time. we talked and talked like there's no tomorrow.

but now..

excitements are all gone.since like you've been kinda lose that energy yesterday. the case is, when im around, talking with is lame. i mean,is there any problem with me?

di qu na kya..

feeling q andun ung tamp0. la n kxe ung dating qng 'quality time'. sori nman kng wla aqng pramdam. wla aqng rationale bout d2, s0 hndi q dn alam. cgur0 tmad lng, o, aaminin q rn n mnsan, ayoko lng.

feeling q nnman scanning aq. lagi nman.

sori lang. un. sori..
at isa png sori ulet. d q kze alam kng pnu q babawi. aq n nhi2ya. kse lam qng nsa akn n lhat, dq lang gngwan ng praan.

aun,nid q lng tlga ng undrstndng. kht wlang ka-under-understanding lhat e2.

imy & ily soo much.

-pra sa password ng blog q.(_--)

.don't dwell in the past.--(unwritten blogs) PART FOUR.

¤Date: Mon Apr 20 00:06:45 2009

subj:kalok0han!!adik ba q?!e2 nnman tau sa muving on..SPELL!!

..hay..hayt..haytz..

..kla q tp0z n..kla q muv on n..kla q nag let g0 n..pr0 an0 t0h?!bket et0 nnmn?!

..clickfrndz' c0nfi last h0ly wednesday..geh,c0nfi lng..sbe nla skn d aq mk2muv on dhl klsm8z kme f0r d wh0le summer..(at s lht2 ng clickfrndz s mund0,cia p!!amp0ta..e prng et0 lng ung syn n hningi q ke br0 nun 2ndyr.2nd sem..)..sbe q nkmuv on nq..np2nyan qn un..asa denial stage dw aq..haiz..aywan..twa lng aq..stating evry feelng of muving on..n0t kn0wng He's LISTENING ON D OTHER LYN!!(*what the!!n0w im d0ne!-un lng nsbe q s srli q..smhan mu p ng syet)..alth0ugh d mxad0ng nk2hya 4 me,bt aftr all c0nfesi0ns?!gawd..

..wel,dp dun ngtp0z..ngkainglesan p cla ni khie ng dhl skn..kesy0 im kwawa,dhl 'kng anu mn ang gngwa s knYa ni van,ay un dng gngwa nia skn'..and kesy0,he has 2 treat me well..(well,i dnt c any reas0n he's n0t treating me well)..t0ld her n0t t0 b0ther..pbyaan n,bka lalu p lumake gul0..or if evr,bka mistaken lng ung cnbe nia..

..wel,he treats me wel nga nmn nung ngpxukn..ay,bumaet nga ang m0k0ng..t0ld her,it w0rked..er0 wapakelz pdn..haiz..nu nnmn t0h?!he even makes bes02 one tym n glng kmeng byan at pauwe n kme..gulat aq huh!!haha..

..bt d fact's alive dt he still luv van..im n0t against n0r wil never ever be against ab0ut it!!ala ei,2lungan q pa siiya a kung guztu nia a..haha..

..share q lng ung khp0n ng m0rning..
Message(fr.hm):sa araw ng ksal q,an0 ang iy0ng g2mpnan?(ch0ices f0ll0ws)
txt q: 'pwdng asawa,pwde rng ung ccgaw ng itigil ang ksal..haha..
Him: haha,kaw ha,pacmple k pa,haha
me:haha..adik..sag0t lng un n0..haha..
Him:haha,kaw bhla,lov u mai,
me:hehe..adik..luv u 2..haha..
(amp0ta..bket d2 q knlig ng t0d0?!tsk)
--pnasa q dn ung message..
Him:asawa o ccgaw ng itgl ang ksal
me:haha,hala..gaya..haha
him:hehe


in conclusi0n:cge anabear,pxlmat aq ng t0d0 sau..c0me t0 think,h0w ab0ut my m0ve-on-let-g0 scenari0??and ds h0ld-on situati0n
i can't handle,or else..ill b hurt again 4 d m0st maximum n0.of tyms ive decided t0 m0ve on,let him g0and give him up f0r d sake of my bleeding heart..bt ds f0ol kept on l0ving him..e hnggng kelan nnmn nia m2hlin t0h..days?m0nths? year?hnggng s igi2ve up ulet at mauudl0t ulet..when wil ill finally decide??i l0ve d way im l0ving him,bt its n0t right,ryt??

..i need a tremend0us reas0n..i need a sign..will there be a single chance,that this time,tellng me that He'll (Romantically) love me bak???

..pr0 plz lng..sbhn mu nlng skn n d tau pwde..wg mu ng smantlahn ang summer n t0 pra s pg ibig q..ay0k0..

..in denial stage nga,bt ds tym,i wNT it right..

..im loving..AGAIN!!

..im tired..if evr d chance s dr,plz..ikw nmn..

..i wnt enuf..

..heart..hurt..hmm..they rhymed!!

..spell 'c0nfused'..
mai

.don't dweLL in the past.--(unwritten blogs) PART THREE.

¤..bLug!:(

Date: Sat Mar 14 09:54:25 2009

subj: failure

"ds day..itz a mess..evry m0ment,evry heart p0unding mem0ries creep in my mind..as i close my eyes t0nyt,and as i wake up t0m0rr0w,i hardly wish dt all of these ws only a nytmare,th0ugh it really s0unds imp0ssble..i dnt knw f nxt tym,it'll b bettr..i dnt knw h0w wl i g0 on..s0 sad,s0desperatng,nd s0 exhaustd..:'(.031309."
...sh0utout q s ym kgbe..
...my frst case is such a disaster..
...kht b me chanz..itz stl a failure..mdme ng issue,mdme nnmng puytan,gstucn,pg0d, hirap,utak,c0mm0n sense ang g2mtn..
...khet b kn0c0mf0rt aq ng mga ta0ng least 2 xpct n ic0mf0rt aq,d pdn 2mgl ung pg2l0 ng luha q..
...it ws in my very m0st part..d nq kbad0 nung una,i knw dr ws a questi0n..evrythng is questi0nable..pr0 nung dmatng n ung tym n hloz alm qn n repeat kme..lutang nq s ere..paiyak nq..nsa hrap aq ng limang panel at labngdlwa qng clsm8..i ws t0tally weak nd pgil ung iyak q..mlalm n nd super sh0rt n ung pghnga q..ang tkb0 ng icp q repeat cse n kme..or much w0rse,we t0tally failed..
...ngyare n ung pnkaknat2kutn q..yes,we're repeat..i cnt h0ld bk d tears..fr0m c0ldness,hnggng s lbas..hnggng s mgusp2 uli kme,hnggng s mga kaibgn q,at hnggng ngay0n..wlng ibng dumapls s icp q kundi it0..wla nqng ibng incp kundi pn0 mk2bwi,pn0 mgccmula ule..
...wlng pngkaiba ang lht s pra kng nmtyan..
...mdmeng ngs2be n g0 on..kya nmn 2..cgur0 my purp0se kng bkt kme ngkgn2,kng bkt aq gnan2..i cnt blame othrs,bt alth0ugh dy t0ld me dt n0 1 s 2blame,i blame myslf..i knw drs wr0ng,bt i dnt exrt d e4t 2c0rect mstakes..
...my mga ngakla p n mdli lng 2ng mga gngwa nmn..kmusta nmn?wla clng alm kng gn0 khrp ang lht ng 2..y0k0 ng mkpgtl0 p..
...sna..sna maauz n..y0k0 n ng gn2ulet..mhrp bumang0n pmnsn2..kht kya nmn..sna tma n..wlang away,wlng c0nflct..sna we w0rk agen 2gedr harm0ni0usly..
...T.T..

¤Date: Tue Mar 24 01:05:44 2009

haayayyay..
Case pre n nmn bkaz..ay m2ya pla..12hrz.2 g0..
And i nid the atleast 4hrz.of sleep,reviews(duh!exams!) at pera! I need pera c0z ill nvr survive untl wednsday wd0ut mkng utang!!haiz..grabe..
Per0 hgt s lht,ang case..
Hay yuku n umiyk s pgdidibdib ng cse n yn..dehydr8td n..
E aq ngedit kgbe..e di ntp0z..e ung kna mitch,tp0z ndn..e ung kla cy,tp0z ndn,kx0 c0rcti0ns..mej0 dme kea aun,ngumangawa n..
hay..nid qn sleep..hl0z nkpkt nq ow..haha..pera,CASE! wah..buang ng..dq n alm cnsbe q..
CASE,EXAMs,pera!
Haha..

.don't dweLL in the past.--(unwritten blogs) PART TWO.

¤Date: Tue Jan 13 05:58:11 2009

subj:re to cy-gvng up luv..
...heheh..thank u..sna final n 2..sna 2loy2 n cia..nk2lungk0t mn pr0 kelangn qn tlgang gwn bg0pq mkrmdm ng ms msaket..cgur0nmn nrcv mu ung gm nia kgbe db?dq alm kng aq b ung isa dun s pnat2maan nia..bt im n0t closng any d0ors 2 changes..f destiny continue 2 tilt our w0rlds,ill jz g0nna let it happen..auk0lng tlga ulet mc0nfusd ung pus0q..cz d m0r it gts c0nfusd,d m0r n umaasa aq dt bhind our laughs,bhnd d j0kes dt we throw,bhnd dt sweetest m0ments,cia nmn ang mgappr0ach skn 2 luv me..nd lastly,d nmn nia kyng igv up c van kht my lst wl nd tstamnt ciang cnbe skn..s0 s0much 4 ds luv..gudluck sken..hahah..

¤Date: Thu Jan 22 09:03:25 2009

subj: t0 give up..

..flng q ang lo0ser q..i cnt kp my w0rd..dq n alam kng pnu q k2lmutng mhal q cia..hayz..e2 nq s pkrmdm qng gz2 qng umiyak pr0pnipgil q..ang bgat2 s dibdib..
..aminin q n cgur0 nga umaasa aq n sna mhlin dn nia q..cmula nung cnbi nia skn n ig2v up n nia c van,at ska ung mga tym n ngcmula n nia qng biruin..mnsn ns2be q lng s srli q n ''bhnd th0se j0kes r lies..pr0 sna nga 22o nlng n0h..sna nga mgk22o..''
..inaalgaan q ung imahe q blng ba2e,kea kht sbhn ntng aq n g2wa ng 1st m0ve,itz n0t an opti0n..mtaas ang pride q..
..sbe skn nung frnd q kgbe,pnkmsket dw ung mga bruang hndi mu alm,22o n pla..sbe q pti s knya kgbe,cgur0kng bngyn nia ng f0ll0w up ques.ung 'cnt say' q..bka umamin dn aq s knya..hndi e,s0 gn2 tlga q ngaun..
..in c0nclusi0n,i nid 2 gv up pdn..kht cnsbe ng pus0 qng ayw..klngn qng iplit..wla nmn aqng dpt asahn n m0re dn frnds db??mhrap umasa s wla..msket..even d w0rld s stl tiltng up0n us..itz jst playtym..

¤Date: Tue Jan 27 00:25:21 2009
subj:hangover sa tour..
hayz..s wkaz nkpgpaalam ndn..s0 im kpng my palms clasp..sna tlga mkxma aqu..at lhat ng clickfrnds..
waaaa..so lonely,yet so alone on d buz p ata..aun,sec.e kxma nmn..kmuxta nmn,cla jay..e d ibg sbhn nun kelngn niang mktbe c mitch db?!im g0nna left al0ne..hbng c cy,c jake at c kev mgksma s isng bus..they fit 2b family tlga..c van,c ana nd c babes mgk2xma ren..isa qng barrier s arw n un..hayz..greatest dream q p nmn mktbe c kev s bus..taz m22log cia s blkat q..at hndi n mngy2re un..
...d tlga mngy2re..tsk!!dq maimagine kng mg2ng p0sibleng mgksma kme s iisng bus..
...sna tlga mksma aqu..at kmeng lhat..sna msya..sna sfe trip..sna dme picz..
...hayz..e2 n lht ng pmax0k s icp qu..kea dq n alm ung ibng s2bhn qu..heheh..
...ngh2ngad n mksma truly..
_mai:)_

¤Date: Tue Feb 03 22:43:05 2009
...subj:kilig deep insyd!!
nktmbay kme s study area as usual..sk0p nmn ung 2 table..aq ung nkaup0 dun dul0 nung isng table n ktpt nung knau2puan ni kev..s0 it means n nsa ryt syd q cia knina..hwlay nga lng ung mga table nmn..nsa lft syd q nmn c marvin,tz ktpt q c cy..ktpt nmn nia cla mitch nd jay s my kblng table..
...kslukuyn clng ngr2view ng ec0..tmang dldlan dn..pg-angat q ng ulo q nktngn clang lht skn..kng mktitig p nmn pra qng my dumi s mukha..pgtngin q s knya,luming0n cia skn..tz nptitig q s knya..ngtnggl cia ng earph0ne sby tn0ng ng bkt..aun,twa nmn cla sbay klig..nhya q 2loy..
kwn2 insyd:thrice dw kz ptingin tngn ang kevin at ayaw dw nla mamiz ni marvin ang m0ment n un..
...aq dw knilig??ay nang..insyd ata..heheh..N0 COMMENT!!!!

.don't dweLL in the past.--(unwritten blogs) PART ONE.

-these are my past blogs-

title: ..bLug!!

¤Date: Wed Oct 22 19:20:34 2008

..haaah..katachycardia t0h!!
..bt gnun??nagetz q kagad ung sh0utout ni anakhie..
..ntk0t pla dw cia..s0 ibg sbhn b kng d cia ntk0t pnanindigan nia ung relati0nshp n un??
..anduwag nia..s0bra..pr0ansama sma ng ugali nia..npkaimmature kz nia..akala q ur d purfct man 2b my 1st bf..
..bt gnun k?ang sweet mu kz kht knin0..akala q my s0methng tlga..kht tuld0k ln..
..bk 2d t0pic..dq alam qng an0ng dpt qng mrmdman..kumir0t n nmn ung apical q..pr0 e2 ung gz2ng ipahiwatig n2..
..sna nging mtpang k nlng..sna umay0n nlng ung ugali m0 s height mu..(ds is n0t a j0ke)..pra nmn ms mtndi ung dhlan pra itap0n n kta play0 s nghihimak0s qng pus0..:[
..h0w d0 i start t0 live my lyf alone..guess im just learning,learning the art of letting go..

¤Date: Mon Oct 27 19:26:14 2008

..haaay..ang init s loob ng bhy nmn..kea aun,tumamby aq s lbaz..heheh..naicp q lng,christmas n..dq n lub0z maicp n da2an ung debut q bg0christmas..ahahah..mgdrama b??kz ung kptbhay nmn my christmas lyt n..pr0 mr0n dn nmn kme..d lng bnubuksn..ahahah..
..np2knta 2loy aq ng without u..excited nq dun s cd n ib2gy skn ni anakhie..ahahah..eun un e..heheh..
..bxta ang alm q bus0g aq ngaun..aq b nmn mglu2 ng dinner nmn e..s0pas!!ahahah..
..la lng,nshare q lng..nb02red kz aq..nbtin aq dun s sm nmn ni jake knina..hahah..
..hmmm..miz qn tlga c anakhie..at ska c van,c babes,c anabear,c mitch,c jake ska c jay..kht knina q lng cla nkta..in sh0rt,miz qn ang click5 pluz 1 wd esc0rtz feat. 1m..e1 q b kng bkt dq nmi2z c..........hahah..ktbe q cia knina e..anu ngaun..hahah..
..ok..s0 much 4 da missing..
_mai_

¤Fri Nov 07 00:51:12 2008
Sub: kelan kea aq??
..htnggabi n at inaan2k nq pr0 d pdn me mk2log..
..super ngagalak aq,d pra s srli q,kundi ky cy..my mnli2gaw n kz cia ngaun at ip2kla2 n nia smn 2bukz..kea nmn naka2exyt pla..heheh..
..pr0ud aq s knya..atlast!!na0pen n nia ang pus0 nia s p0ssiblty n pumx0k s isng relati0nshp..kht b gulong2 cia kng pnu mgde2cyd 4 ds thng..
..pr0..
..eh aq??kelan kea drtng ung tym n may maip2kla2 dn aq s knlang 'mnli2gaw slash bf'??..
..ngaun q lng narealyz n npgi2wnan nq ng pnah0n..hayz..umiiral n nmn ung pgi2ng desperada q..hnggng kelan kea aq mgh2ntay pra s la2kng un??mlamang,yrs n nmn ang aabutn pra tumib0k ult ang apical q pra s ibng la2ke..ilng araw,bwan,ta0n b ang mb2lang q 4 dt guy..?
..hndi aq tk0t n mgkar0n ng distansya ung smn ni cy c0z of ds guy..im g0nna b very hapi f evr n mgng cla..
..10 days..im g0nna b 18 within 10 days..im g0nna b 18 wd n0 b0yfrend since birth,wd n0 othr guy luvng me and im a t0tal miserable and a whatever maj0r LOOSER b0ut it..
..cgur0 ang hrap paibign ng mga la2ke..gz2 p nla ung mganda n,s lbaz plng..y d0 b0ys always tel me,even gurlz n 'mgnda k,mgauz klng..mgptaba klng..etc.'??mxama b mging simple s bu0ng buhay mu?ung wlang bahid ng c0smetics,wlang mg2rang damit at kya pdng ibign ng isng guy..dhl mhl nia q s kng an0ng mr0n nq at spat n cia dun..

..cgur0 kea naus0 ang w0rd na fabulous,s0syal at b0nggang b0ngga..dhl d n us0 ang bsta nlng simple ngaun..
..being simple is the m0st elegant thng in d w0rld..
..kng tlgang d aq b2ya2an ni g0d ng apical n tumitib0k pra lmng skn..t2nggpn q un..gz2 q lng yumaman ang tatay q skn..super thankful nq dun..
..cgur0 nktkda n skn n wla ng ibng la2kng mgm2hl skn..p2loy pdn aqng mg2ng l0yal s nbsb club..
..cgur0 e2 nlng ang ms2bi q...
..ms ok nq s gn2ng buhay..gn2lng n pngarap n gz2 q..ang mkaraos..d nq nangarp n mgkar0on ng pag-ibg..dhl auk0ng mabig0..dhl kng wlng pag-ibg,wlang kabiguan..-why why love
_mai_