Twenty Nineteen

A blog update after 6 months (char)(not char):

It's a day or two away before 2020. So y'all know what it is all about. ツ

I never thought that I would be able to write again another year-end blog. Kasi nga, hindi na ko marunong magsulat, unlike the previous years. Saka kinarir ko na talaga ang mangako at ipako ang pangakong "dadalasan ko na uli mag-blog kasi may internet na kami". tas berigud kaya ako, pinaayos ko yung laptop ko, (well cos of work) so parang dapat talaga di ba binabalik ko na yung writing hobby ko?

That might be a one random thought paragraph, but here goes 2019.

A year full of hoping, and starting anew. That's 2019 for me. Okay blog's done, CHAR!
Haha! I cannot think of what happened to 2019. All I know is that I've waited too long, exposed myself to UV rays, (well that's particularly a community health nurse's job: home visits A LOOOOT!), tried a new nursing field (para sa konting raket) and learned a bit, then after waiting quite long, I gained a step towards continuing my profession. Quite hard, but it's all worth it. Bigger compensation, benefits, etc. But it's all hard work. I still hope for a permanent job, and it's okay with me to stay here as long as compensation's will be this good.

That would be quite the highlight. So I can finally end. Hahahahah!

I know that me waiting for something to happen was quite became a challenge to me this year. "Kasi hindi na tayo bumabata", one of my friends told me, that made me think twice about life. Oo nga naman. But something's holding on to me. Eventually, it's all worth the waiting. Those months of working was quite harder than the previous, and the more I stay, it also gets harder and harder, kumbaga sa game, palevel up ng palevel up. Well, I think that's how it really goes. That's the real challenge.

This year, there were very little adventure, maliban sa work, that's my biggest adventure, but aside from that, sobrang dalang. There's Lauv, Lany (for the third time and the grandest gig for me, so far), and Ben&Ben. Travels? Maliban din sa Laguna (nung pinanood ang Ben&Ben sa Enchanted Kingdom), maybe that maala-hiking adventures at galaan sa Angono. Oh, there's Tanay pala.

Malibu Nights Manila Tour 2019 Day 1: Got a Gen Ad ticket after several times of attempt to get tickets online. Few days before the concert started, another attempt to upgrade the tickets were made, from Gen Ad down to Lower Box Premium. This was a quite near experience! The grandest of all three Lany gigs I attended. It was great, I was nearly speechless, grabe si Paul Jason Klein. 

Lauv Live in Manila: Isa sa mga suntok sa buwan-g gig na pinuntahan ko. I really want to go, so I asked a friend to get me a ticket. If there would be, then I'm good. Eh nakakuha sya. Haha! And since i'm going solo, I found a concert buddy. He's also good, it's like a warm up concert for Lany. And he shoots a music video in the middle of concert. how good iz dat?

Enchanted Kingdom's Anniversary feat. Ben&Ben: Di ko na malaman kung saan angsimula ang pagiging fan ko ng Ben&Ben, pero hugot na hugot talaga ako nung nagsimula silang tumugtog. Hindi ko alam kung iiyak ako o hihiyaw na lang. I love this 9 pc chickenjoy band hays! See you again before this year end! 

I don't know how to end this blog. I have nothing special for another year end. Siguro nga pag tumatanda ka na, you were not really capable of doing everything haha. Definitely, the next year would bring a lot to me. I have a lot in store and I hope I could tell y'all in future blogs. At ayan nanaman po tayo hahahahahha!

I pray that this coming year would be as blessed as this year. Kahit sinubok talaga ni Lord yung patience ko this year, it's a way of telling me that better things are in store for you when you keep on waiting. Kahit nakakapagod mag-antay. Kahit pasuko ka na. Basta kakapit ka lang.

That's it! I apologize for the super short blog. I would edit this if inspiration kicks in. This is me, greeting myself and y'all a prosperous new year ahead!

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Blog update

HOLAAAA BLOG!

So anong nangyari sa mga pangako mong every month update pero every six months TALAGA nag-a-update? HAHAHAHAH GAHD I'M SOOOO TAMAD.

Well, anyways, how are you guys? I hate it when I always realize that I was not able to write something (and gaaaah I miss writing and I am not good at it compared to the past years), and it felt like there's too much thoughts but no words being written. Pero puro ka twitter, ano?

I just thought to drop by and IF the mood hits, I promise to write (kahit wala nang nagbabasa, but hit me in the comments if you are still reading this blog). I was thinking of making this blog private for good, but I don,t know if it would be worth it.

But heyyy it's been ten years. Yay! I wanna cringe everytime I read my old posts. But I cringe more when I thought of how good I am in writing waaay back those years. Well, lets see for another ten years.

So before I end this post, I apologize that for the longest time I was not really into writing. Yes, I've been busy at work and that would be my new excuse (no internet connection has left the group). Career update: thank God, two months of area duty has come to a halt. Six months of waiting for this has come to an end. We are back for real! But I hope this job would give us the tenure that we really wanted.

Some other life update: I thought I'll be having a short rest after all the stress I've been for the last few months. But I think there's a way of telling me that you have to get going and it's better. If I would have a choice, I would like to take some short break from all things, but it might result to another overthinking of what should happen to me next. So I'll just let things flow the way it would. And... keep telling myself to not expect of anything, even if it give hints.

So, that is one spontaneous blog and these must be going.

2018

How. Grabe. I. Am.

The last time I posted a blog was 6 months ago. Like... whuuuuuuut! Is these (even) me? I feel soooo unfair with my blogging hobbies that I was not able to maintain this. Not even a day of spending with a blank page for the last 6 months?! Ugh! I am really sorry, blog, for not sparing you my time and thoughts na dapat ikaw talaga yung sagot sa mga alalahanin ko ehh 😑

But anyways, It IS the last day of the year AGAIN, and this is mandatory, so here I am.

So what am I writing for this year ender blog? ACTUALLY, I have no idea. (Ugh, this is too much 🤦🏻‍♀️ Lol.)

For a few days, I am contemplating on what happened for this past year. How was my experience, my  work, experiences, travels, relationships with people around, etc., and I can’t even think of any that made me a different person today than last year. (Oh, this is too much sad emojis again). I feel so worthless this year.

But you know what? I always feel that I don’t have the audacity to feel really bad about something or anything. I always tell myself na “bakit ang arte mo, eh dapat hindi?” In short, I also feel that I am not “entitled” for the feelings. Parang, ang daming ibang bagay na nangyayari sa’yo na hindi ka dapat mag-inarte ng ganyan, self. I know, I am wayyyy too blessed for the things I need, but I longed also for the things I want, kaya siguro ako naging ganito. Is this good, or is this bad? 😞 This confuses me a lot, and ngayon ko lang nire-reveal ito (maliban sa twitter, haha! Madaming alam twitter account ko kaya do not dare to look for it) (ayyy, nasa side tab ko yata siya. Oh well.)

So ayun nga, there were times that I am too overwhelmed, extremely happy, but there were also times na grabe na yung pagkalungkot ko. Yung wala sa lugar. Yung kung anu-ano na lang ang nasa IG stories ko na halos ma-screenshot na ng friends ko sabay tanong ng “anong problema mo?” na sasagutin mo lang ng “Wala” “I’m fine”. I am okay, but I am not. Charot not charot, ganern.

So anong point ba ng 2018 ko? At anong point ng blog post na ito?

Wala lang. I am still thankful. To everything. To the God above, Who made all things possible. Always naman, just like how I express it every year, in my year ender blogs. Everything happens for a reason and He mean it for the good, perhaps. Hindi ko pa siguro nakikita yung “Silver lining” sa lahat ng dinaramdam ko ngayon, but maybe eventually, sooner or later, these blues would be finally over, and eventually, I’ll be okay with everything.

My wish for this coming year (This might be a new  thingy for today’s year ender. 🤔 A wish for next year. Lol.) is for me to be contented with whatever is present. I know that I still have dreams for my career at this age, (kahit feeling ko huling huli na ko). Maybe what I mean to say about contentment is for what I want. My needs are really on need of achieving but my wants are sometimes uncontrollable and in desperation most of the time. I felt hard to make a pass on this thing that I regret it for too much when I did not get it. Perhaps I must learn to control these things so I won’t feel bad if I don’t achieve it at all. (Sobrang lalim naman this, hindi ko alam kung anu anong klaseng mga bagay ba yun, kung bagay ba talaga or...)

My blog was not yet finished here. (Oh di ba kanina walang masabi tapon ngayon kung anu ano na lang hahahaha). Eto talaga yung naisip kong “thought” ng blog ko for today. But I was not sure kung ano (or sino) ba yung dapat kong i-connect... oh well, you know Ariana Grande’s song, right?

One taught me LOVE
I know they’re not just one but they were too many to mention. I was not supposed to reveal some “one” who I thought that also taught me a different kind of love, but, you already get it. Yes there is One. No, I don’t mean some kind of romantic relationship but let’s just say (I was taught about) things that you might do ‘cos you love someone blah blah blah, it sounded clichè, but in a different way. The bad thing is, I started to go back to my over dramatic pessimistic self and I don’t wanna go back to that cycle, to that phase but it has already started. Love is a good thing. My feelings are not.

One taught me PATIENCE
I have plenty of these! In all aspect of life. I can probably just wait ‘til forever. This is self taught. But probably, I had this phase this year on *cues Coldplay song* “Yeaaaaah, how long must you wait for it... Yeaaaah” But all the wait has it’s worth. Or not.

One taught me PAIN
Yeah, the thing that is inevitable in my life: Pain. Kaya siguro sobra sobra yung pag-iinarte ko, ‘cos some things Pains me a lot! Maybe because I did not get what I want. Maybe because I was (always) expecting too much of myself, of other people, of other person’s feeling towards me (charot!). Life sucks. Pain exist, and this sh*t’s still amazing. It would make you a better person. And whyyyy in the world should you focus on pain while there were other things you deserve to have? Ayun. I always tell myself that but I would silently cry inside with tears that would not fall. But you know what is the most painful part? That is when you realize that it is important when it’s gone.

Okaaaay the blog had too much drama now, as well as nonsense thing-y-s haha! Well, thank you very much for a reading well-spent again. (nga ba? hahahaha!). I am really sorry if I was not in the mood to fix this blog with special characters etc., lol. But dear Lord, please do give me the talent, and the time, and the energy, and the kasipagan to blog more again next year.

Since this blog has Kadramahan > Significant  Life events, I have done an IG stories about some special events that happened to me this year, so if it happens, please do visit my IG account so you could view these stories 🔜: @mhayemaimai and if it happens to past the 24 hour limit, I’ll put it on Highlights so you could view them.

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But I’m still freaking grateful (not for my ex hahahah)

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HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN, EVERYONE!

xoxo, mai

The Sunday Currently | 07

This photo was taken at Tagaytay last Sunday. Wala lang. I just need an intro pic. That was foggy, and that song was "Comfortable" by Lauv

Hola Blog! So technically, this would be my first 2018 Blogger entry. WHAAAAAT! What the heck happened, self? Dapat nga ngayon ka na madaming blogs kasi 'di mo na pwedeng idahilan na "wala kasing internet". I'm so sorry but maybe WORK always get in my (blogging) way charot!

To be honest, I become desperate and frustrated in learning those CSS, Javascript, etc. to be able to revamp my blog. But I kennat anderstand dem deyyyym huhuhu (cannot understand them). I'm so sorry, I quit learning them and let my blog layouts in the most basic theme. Huhuhuh! I really need some expert help. Someone teach me.

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Well anyways, I have too much thoughts running in my head, but I cannot composed a particular blog post. A "Sunday Currently" might help. So...

CURRENTLY

Reading

Haha nothing in particular. (Omg, this is so plain. What am I doing with my life? *cries*)

Writing

The Sunday Currently 7, and this reminds me the need to update my journal again.

Listening

to these heartbreaking songs:
"Bulong" - December Avenue
"Walls" - Juan Miguel Severo
"Balewala" - Brimsom
"I'm a Mess" - Ed Sheeran
"Too much to Ask" - Niall Horan

Thinking

about plenty of things: work matters, and what the weather would be like these coming days

Smelling

my blanket (na bagong palit pero bakit amoy laway pa din. ew)

Wishing

For a superpower. The ability to read someone's mind. Para 'di na lang ako magtatanong kasi alam ko na sagot. Haha charot!

Hoping

For a better weather. Grabe na kasi yung ulan. Dami dami daw LPA and Tropical depression pero nung nakaraan ang lala ng init. Grabe haaaaa! Saan na ba yung tamang panahon?

Wearing

A gray shirt from Enchanted Kingdom and a checkered cotton shorts

Loving

Those long weekend vacation memories. hayyyyyy. I wish long weekends are "longer". But it pains me when I remembered those days end "that" fast.

Wanting
To cry. A LOT! I don't know, it seems that these thoughts swallowed me whole and my heart is heavy. Maybe I just need someone to talk to. 😭

Needing
To finish another presentation/ accomplishment report.

And someone to talk over things. Over coffee.

Feeling

upset? sad? tired? confused? scared? I don't know. I hate this feeling that I was going back to my old self these past few days because of these "thoughts" I am too scared to reveal. Magulo isip ko, ganern. I was always asked if I am okay and I always responded yes. But when things started to cloud my mind again, it was like I am drowning to everything. I tried to divert my thoughts, but it was too overwhelming, and I'll just end up wanting to cry so much, thinking that would be the only way. Pero hindi naman naiyak. Gahd, this mind is like a puzzle I cannot solve, or a maze I cannot escape.

But this is a phase of life, right? Hindi lahat ng araw masaya ka. Oo, ang lungkot pero iniisip ko din yung dahilan bakit ako nalulungkot. Saan banda? Nag-iinarte ba ko kaya ako ganito? I ask these things to myself these days. Or maybe I was too stressed to everything at kung anu-ano na lang pumapasok sa isip ko.

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These days, when I figure these out, mai-blog. Chareng.

P.S: Uyyyy thank you ha, kung meron pa ding kahit papaano eh nag aaksaya ng panahon kakabasa ng blog ko. Di na po ako marunong sa english, kaya siguro malimit na ko sa pagpopost. (ayun Wishing: for my writing talent to return to me, just like college days hahahahah!)

Uyyy, wait again. I remembered before going home last sunday, I was able to attend the last Holy Mass scheduled that day. Dito siguro nagstart yung pagka-overwhelmed ko with things. I love hearing these kind of homilies, yung tumatagos sa puso. Sabi ni Father, huwag daw gawin na lang palaging "option" si God, lalo na kung may problema, dun ka lang lalapit, etc. And he leave this thought before ending the homily:

Sobrang dami ko nang utang, like and dami kong concert na napuntahan! Ask me those some other time and I'll tell you all.

The Sunday Currently Link by Siddathornton

Adventures of 2017

Hello again! It is the last day of the year, and as usual, I am writing a year end blog post: a tradition myself has been made for like 5 years (?) luuuuh is that long? I am a bit under the weather today, and been busy these last few days, kaya this blog has nothing really special, unlike the previous ones. No vlogs included, or monthly highlights, etc. Just to wrap up the year.

This year has been very extra special. I’ve been into many places, experienced unusual events, and met new people. If I would analyze these things, I cannot believe these things happened. It’s like me not being my usual self and getting out of my comfort zone. Actually, before 2016 ends, I was not thinking of what 2017 would bring me, and after a year, as I look back, I realized that this year had turned my life a hundred and eighty degrees. Because on behalf of these, I am still living with the usual; still have my loving family, the same circle of friends, the same job I had for the past 6 years and with the same people I’ve been working with. But certain events of this year were exceptional and my feet had brought me to places I never thought I would ever be.

So this year, after all of these twist and turns, I think the best tagline that would sum up my year would be:

“Live life with no regrets”

Yes, because I believe that I did not only just pray for things to happen, but I make things happen for me, so that in the end, I would not regret on things I can do but I didn’t pushed through. There are times in the past that I would sulk and resent because I choose to not make it happen, but I could. This time, I choose to do three things: to shut my eyes, decide to do it anyway, and pray for things to happen. Then it all happened!

I am not just lucky for these things, but also had been very blessed. Not all people can experience such great things in life. We have as much wants as we could ever think of, but we prioritize the needs first, and that’s the proper thing to do. And I am truly blessed for having both.

I am simply thankful for this year. It has been a big resolution to all my fears and to things I thought I could never do. Parang walang masyadong negatives this year, and I hope and I pray so hard at this moment na ganito lang every year. SA MASAYA LANG! GANON! Hahahahah! I hope that this brand new year would bring me and my family, and my friends as well, a blessed and fruitful year, and for myself, the courage and bravery I had to conquer the adventures ahead of me.

Wrapping up the year, I had here the best of all the best moments I had this 2017:

THE CONCERTS I'VE BEEN TO:

COLDPLAY MANILA - APRIL 4, 2017

SWITCHFOOT MANILA - April 17, 2017

SILENT SANCTUARY AT VISTA MALL, ANTIPOLO - June 30, 2017

LANY AT AYALA MALLS - August 6, 2017

SPONGECOLA AT VISTA MALL - October 26, 2017

THE PLACES I'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE:

VILLA FELOMINA, CAVITE

CRYSTAL BEACH RESORT, ZAMBALES

THE NOOK AND MOKJA, MAGINHAWA, Q.C

HONG KONG 

TO THOSE MEMORABLE EVENTS I'VE EXPERIENCED:

COLOR MANILA RUN, TANAY RIZAL

DIFFERENT YUMMY FOODTRIPS

WEDDINGS

BENCH UNDER THE STARS

FIESTA 2017

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS

FAMILY GATHERINGS

WORK EXPERIENCES

ACHIEVEMENTS 

CHRISTMAS PARTIES 

YEAR-END CELEBRATIONS

There's still so much of this year that words cannot describe and was not captured by pictures. Still, I'll definitely bring the memories of this year throughout this lifetime. These memories would always be a treasure to keep. These moments had made me more stronger and determined to accomplish what I need and what I want for myself. I believe these experiences would be a bridge to more life accomplishments in the future, and would help me to check off those things out of my bucket list.

Thank you Lord, for bringing me those extra special adventures of a lifetime, for those wishes granted, for those strength to accomplish everything, for giving me the capacity to work, earn, then travel and attend those concerts. Thank you also for those people who stayed with me and the new people I met along this journey, and made my year an exceptional one. Naniniwala akong mas higit pa sa mga ito ang mangyayari sa'kin ngayong 2018.

Well, that's it, 2017. This was way shorter than the previous ones, eh? This year was way too overwhelming for me. There are way too many new adventures I had, as for other people also, whom I've witnessed drastic changes in their lives. But for myself, I am still that same twenty-something gal who had just driven to exploration of life. Charot!

"New Year, Same Me"

(Oo, magbago na kayong lahat, nandito pa din ako hahahah!)

Charot lang! I would still welcome changes wholeheartedly, as long as hindi naman ako nakakapahamak ng iba, 'di ba? 😁

Okay, I'll say goodbye to this year, and to this blog post for real. Sorry walang halong kaartehan, ni emoji or gif or stickers wala man lang akong nailagay na matino. Hahahahah! Di bale, this 2018, I'll go on a major blog revamp. I promise! I just need time to study things.

"Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing"

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